


We All Die For You

by hunters_retreat



Category: Terminator: Sarah Connor Chronicles
Genre: M/M, Post-Apocalypse, Pre-Apocalypse, Pre-Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-09
Updated: 2014-04-09
Packaged: 2018-01-18 17:25:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 991
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1436620
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hunters_retreat/pseuds/hunters_retreat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He sees the moment in John’s eyes, the true horror of being John Connor  coming to rest on his shoulders as he sits in the truck listening to his  uncle. </p>
            </blockquote>





	We All Die For You

  
Sarah doesn’t like it, not one damn bit.  She says he’s not a soldier and he wants to disagree but it’s not the time or the place.  He just agrees in his own way, answers “Not yet,” and falls back to get his gear. 

John’s in the truck and they’re hell and away from the house before he lets John in on the plan.  He can see the moment John catches what he’s saying, that they need to keep Bedell useful for Connor, not safe.  He can see the slight moment where John Connor comes to the front and doesn’t flinch away.  Then John Baum is back, Connor riding just under his skin.  Derek has trouble looking away. 

Later, they’re in the middle of the academy, fucking uniforms on these kids like they can comprehend what’s coming at them.  He knows he’s overstepped some lines but they need to hear the truth before they get themselves killed over stupid lines drawn on a map by a suit in Washington.  If his words make even one of them survive Judgment day then it’s another soldier on their side.

He finds John in the common room later, wondering what he and Bedell talked about over lunch.  It feels easier between them.  Something happened when John looked up at him, something Bedell said, bleeding into their lives.  At least until John starts talking about Bedell quitting.  Derek knows they’ll get him to stay but he doesn’t think John is talking about Bedell anymore.  When John reminds him that everyone helps _him_ make the right decisions, he can’t do anything but raise an eyebrow. 

They’re all so damn careful to make sure John becomes the Great John Connor and Derek wishes he could lash out and take the kid for ice cream or to a ball game or a rock concert instead of testing him with exits and terrain and what is the nearest weapon you could use.  He knows why they do it, he does it himself, but he tries to remember that underneath it all is just a kid that never got to be a kid.  John Connor got years of foster families, training on the run, and Terminators sneaking through time to kill him. 

Still, he can’t stop the pride that blossoms in his chest when John rattles off the exits and his escape route, plans already formed.  He might not be a soldier yet, but he’s a survivor.  Derek will take that.

 

** 

 

They’re setting traps when he finds himself telling John about Kyle and this deer.  He’s not sure why he’s talking about it, but he’s been thinking of his brother lately and John doesn’t know anything about him really, won’t get to meet the man for years to come.  It seems right to share what stories he can.   

John listens, his body still for a moment until the emotion gets too much to share.  He’s glad John looks away because it helps Derek remember where he is. 

“He was just a boy,” Derek says and it’s all he can think to say, to make John stop seeing Kyle as a sniveling child in his head instead of the strong, loyal man that Kyle became.  He deserves to be remembered that way.    

 “So were you,” John’s voice doesn’t betray anything, but his eyes are back on Derek and they’re softer now, not the pain of his father’s memory but something else.

“Yeah, I guess I was,” Derek grabs his stuff and moves on because no, he wasn’t a child by then.  Not after Judgment Day.  He can hear it in John’s voice though, the reminder than no matter what Derek had become, he should have been a child.

When he’s moving on, he can feel John’s eyes on him.  He looks back and he can see something there, something like regret, maybe longing and the bitterness cuts deep.  He turns his eyes away before John can see the way the emotion reflects in his own eyes. 

 

**

 

Bedell’s falling and Derek is running, trying to stop the metal when he hears it, the voice he knows, the man he knows, screaming into the dark night.  “Hey!  Look over here.  It’s me, Connor.  John Connor.”

He knows that man and he changes his plans as he tries to anticipate his next move.  There aren’t many, but he knows his exits and he knows his escapes.  Derek isn’t about to let him down now.

The Terminator dies before them, tar and fire and Bedell stands witness to it, the first terminator he’ll see die.  One of many.  John holds his head proud and strong, returning the soldier’s questioning gaze.

 

**

 

Leaving Bedell is harder than Derek thought it would be.  They’d been friends once, brothers, but this man wasn’t that one.  The truck is quiet for a while, but Derek can understand that.  John’s never had to explain it to anyone else, never had to be the one to share the nightmare that is to come. 

He tells John the truth and he can see the way it hurts him, but he doesn’t flinch away from it.  Derek’s so fucking proud of the man he’s becoming.   He needs John to understand though.

“He died, John.  He died for you.”

John watches him, nodding, tears filling his eyes but they don’t fall.  John won’t allow that, not until he’s alone.  It’s not everything Derek needs to say though so he pauses and tries to tell him what it all means.  What John means to him. 

“We all die for you.”

He sees the moment in John’s eyes, the true horror of being John Connor coming to rest on his shoulders as he sits in the truck listening to his uncle. 

His nephew knows that he’d die for John Connor.  He can’t say the most damning words of all though.   He’d die for John Connor, but he’d let the whole fucking world burn to keep John Baum. 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the [](http://tscc-las.livejournal.com/profile)[](http://tscc-las.livejournal.com/)**tscc_las** . I don't remember what the prompt was but I wanted to show something with John and Derek and John growing _into_ John Connor. Also, I love the small moments where Derek just up and confesses things to John, like the deer incident and the 'we all die for you' thing. And I just love Derek so I had a hell of a time keeping this story under 1000 words which was the story max. And I suck at remembering to post things here when there is a 'don't post until' challenge :P


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